Free is just another word…

Have you seen the commercials where the guy is singing about In one he and his band are dressed as pirates in a cheesy seafood restaurant. In another, he and his “posse” are playing their instruments and singing as they drive a mangled used subcompact car off the lot.

The jingles are very catchy, the kind that get stuck in your head and won’t leave until you think of something even stickier and nastier, like “I’m too sexy for my shirt.” (Sorry, I had to do it.)

In the car commercial, he sings “F-R-E-E that spells free credit baby.”

Only guess what? isn’t free. It charges a monthly monitoring fee, which you can cancel without ever paying, although I’m guessing that many people forget and I’m betting their business model is based on a particular percentage of people doing exactly that.

In their defense, at the end of the commercial, in fine print at the top of the screen and in a rapid voiceover they say “Offer applies with enrollment in Triple Advantage.”  I guess that constitutes fair warning that something is up, although there’s no mention of a fee of any kind, while the URL is highly visible in bold white type in the lower right corner throughout the entire commercial.

On their website they are equally clear and honest. In small gray type on a grey background, smaller than the bold type on the rest of the page, off to the side, away from the big golden oval that says, in glowing letters, “Get your Free Credit Report & Score,” it says:


When you order your free report here, you will begin your free trial membership in Triple AdvantageSM Credit Monitoring. If you don’t cancel your membership within the 7-day trial period**, you will be billed $14.95 for each month that you continue your membership., Inc. and are not affiliated with the annual free credit report program. Under a new Federal law, you have the right to receive a free copy of your credit report once every 12 months from each of the three nationwide consumer reporting companies. To request your free annual report under that law, you must go to”

That’s quite a different little tune than “F-R-E-E that spells free credit baby.”

Listening to that song got me thinking about another song, which I hereby dedicate to those champions of misleadership at (Apologies to Kris Kristofferson, who wrote the original Me and Bobby McGee – yes, he wrote it, not Janis.)

Free is just another word for hidden fees to pay,
those fees are piling up now every day,
New is just another word for same stuff different day
Don’t they have to mean the things they say, oh yeah,
How can it be free if we have to pay?

Can someone please explain to me how we as an industry expect people to listen to our ads and believe our claims when we keep singing the same misleading song?